TBL 7×72 – And the winner of The Biggest Loser Australia 2012 is…

The Biggest Loser Australia 2012 Finale starts now!

It should have started quite a few minutes ago but Masterchef, a prerecorded-months-ago show, didn’t run to time. Which I’m sure is not at all related to their dismal showing in the ratings for their debut episode. Not trying to grab some of that Biggest Loser audience, no sir.

Anyway, on with what we’re all waiting for – FINALE!

This year sixteen overweight singles went into Camp hoping to lose weight and maybe find love. Most of them succeeded in the former and a few have even succeeded at the latter.

Cue the montage! Lots of shots of the grossly obese complaining they wanted to find love and nobody would want them because they’re fat and not because some of them are really quite awful people. Nope, it’s just because they’re fat.

In the time I wrote all that they’re still running the recapped footage of the season and talking about the JOURNEY.

Get on with the reveals and the weigh ins, dangit!

The Final Four is Margie, Alex, Kasey and Brenda. In case anyone has forgotten since Sunday.


Hayley’s wearing a sparkly black dress. Or is it a sparkly black top with a black skirt? Anyway, it’s sparkly and off one shoulder and it kind of makes her look like a hovering arm and a hovering partial torso but that’s okay. It’s still better than a lot of the things Ajay wore!

Hayley tells the crowd at Finale that the contestants combined total weight of just under 2.5 tonnes and they’ve lost over 800kg, achieving the highest average weightloss in Biggest Loser history.

Want to see them? YES!

Well first you have to sit through some recapped footage of White Team. But I guess this means we get to see Bek and Michelle sooner?
And probably Selena. But is anyone really looking forward to seeing Selena? Maybe she’ll surprise us all and has actually done it at home?

HAHAHAHAHA. Nah, I’m kidding, she’s not going to have lost much weight methinks.

But now they’re coming out from behind the sliding door, all three at once. Michelle and Bek look STUNNING in their dresses. Michelle’s is silver and very spangly, Bek’s is just a simple figure-hugging red number.

Selena’s is blue and floaty but can’t even come close to hiding the fact she’s still enormously overweight. What she has done, that does help a lot, is get a really pretty hairdo! It’s got a little red streaked through it and is straightened out and a little wavy instead of the awful frizz she used to have.
She… actually doesn’t look awful!

Michelle’s the next one front and centre and she has a huge grin on her face and quite rightly so. She looks fabulous, especially compared to her “old” shadow self.

Bek’s looking extremely happy as well and walks down the catwalk confidently. She’s got the hourglass figure going on. Looks Awesome. If she still doesn’t have a boyfriend… Coughcough!

Hayley says they all look totally different to what she’s used to seeing them in.

Michelle, tell us about Hamish. They’re going to see how things are going after the show and hope to continue their friendship…
Guess they’re not together anymore then? Hrm.
Up close Michelle doesn’t look so great, way too much makeup, too much blush on her cheeks and the blue eyeshadow and red lipstick make her look a bit… whore-y. Sorry Michelle. Less is more!

Michelle also says she’s had a lot more confidence to sing now, being fit and healthy helps a lot. And she might end up singing something for them later, too!

Bek’s looking a bit Jessica Rabbit-esque, Hayley says. Um, Jessica Rabbit was a redhead, Hayley. But okay.
Bek got eliminated early on the first time round but went home and did really well. Bek says that finding the inner strength and realising she wanted to make the most of her life.

Selena you were at Camp, then home, then at Camp, then back at home, then back at Camp and then left of your own accord because you thought you could do it at home. Was she homesick? It wasn’t homesickness, she wanted to take responsibility for her own life. People telling her what to do wasn’t working for her, she wanted to do things her own way.
Yeah, THAT’S HOW YOU GOT FAT. You’ve even been told that a number of times at Camp. Your way DOES NOT WORK. That’s why you’re STILL fat.

Sigh. Seriously, they should have disinvited her. She LEFT.

Time for some more recapped footage of the White Team when they went bush. Bek missed out on that as it happened the week after she was eliminated the first time.
Michelle and Selena both say they won’t be doing it again!

Before we see the next team let’s have a look at Kasey returning home. Quite a big group out on the patio for the party, family and friends and so on.
Kasey says seeing them all being happy and proud of her makes the last fifteen weeks worth it.
Kasey thinks she’s been underestimated the whole competition and she’s going to come out and win this!

Nah, I doubt it Kasey. It’ll be Margie or Alex. But kudos on the positive attitude!

MORE RECAPPED FOOTAGE!

Temptation is tempting, Hayley tells us. And Blue Team was tempted more than the others. Let’s have a look back at their journey.
Ryan was the biggest contestant ever on the show and oof. I’d forgotten just how big he was back at the start. I wonder how he’s doing now?
James took $30,000 and went home after a Temptation. Luke got evicted after getting drunk at Camp and behaving inappropriately.

Shannan’s team ended up getting sent home well before any of the other teams, meaning they had to do it mostly on the outside.

Neither James or Luke is eligible for any prizes but they’re bringing them out on stage to show off their transformations anyway.
James is looking pretty damn good, weight-wise. He should really decide between having a beard and not having a beard though because that sort of half and half shadow makes him look like an idiot.

Luke… looks the same as when he left, to be honest. He might even have put a little weight back on, I’m not sure. It’s certainly not the impressive transformation James has achieved on the outside, that’s for sure.

James doesn’t regret taking the money and running. I wonder how much of that money went on teeth whitening products because boy howdy, those’re some white choppers.
James knew he needed to lose the weight, he couldn’t go on living the way he was.

James will also be doing a duet with Michelle, apparently. He was the other muso of the house and I think many were expecting them two to end up together. But of course James went out in Week 3 leaving… Hamish.

Luke was one of the most athletic contestants, Hayley says, but he had to go home early. Luke says it was actually a blessing in disguise because he had a big problem with alcohol and getting sent home made him get help and learn from it.
And he’s also found love. OOOOH! Hey, she’s not bad looking either.

Now for the boys who could win stuff, Ryan and Hamish.

Ryan is still massive, big surprise there. At least he’s learned how to shave. Not sure he’s lost a lot of weight since leaving.

Hamish, on the other hand, seems to have lost some more weight. He’s still chubby but it’s not the ball of blubber he used to be.

Ryan says he wasn’t proud of the biggest contestant ever tag but this was a change he needed to make in his life and now he’s on his way.

Hamish was the youngest competitor this year, Hayley says they kind of forgot that at times, and Hamish got a little homesick. Hamish says he’s learned to take ownership of himself. Okay?
Hamish says it was hard training with Shannan one on one after the others went home but it was also a blessing since he learned a lot more.
And he met someone at Camp, didn’t he? Yes, and he formed a friendship with Michelle and he’s grateful for that chance to do so in the house.
He called it a friendship too!

Now time for Alex to return home. Quite a big crowd in a loungeroom. And his brother? Uncle? Someone has that same mannerism of holding his mouth open and working his tongue around and stuff. Hrm.
His Dad has tears in his eyes and is very proud of Alex. Awwwww!

Now, Red Team!
Four women who had given up on love and so on. Boohoo, nobody could love them, they’re old and fat and old.
Oh and two of them are pretty horrible people, it seems.

Margie and Brenda from the Red Team are both in the Final Four though Brenda’s representing Team Shannan these days.

Anyway, out comes Lisa and Lydia and both are looking pretty dang slim!
Lisa barely looks like the same woman in her red drape-y dress and new hairdo.

Lydia’s got a very dark blue dress with sparkly top and her hair did up all pretty. She’s looking pretty slim and fit, including some pretty impressive biceps!
Hayley says she doesn’t want to meet Lydia in a dark alley, look at her guns!

Lydia found the new her. And she seems to have found some laryngitis from somewhere as her voice is failing her a bit, poor bugger. Being out under the hot stage lights while you’re under the weather sucks.

Lisa’s looking very yummy-mummy, Hayley says. The crowd agrees!
Lisa was the only Mum in the house and she missed her boys so much.
And like Hamish and Michelle, Lisa found a relationship in the house too. Here’s a bit of footage.
Commando Steve says, “Love really isn’t my department but it was fantastic to see Simon and Lisa had hooked up.” SO ROMANTIC, STEVE.

Hayley says there was a lot of hidden camera shots of Lisa lying on Simon’s belly and Lisa says there was a lot of other things they could have shown instead! Well, not a LOT… Bwahaha!
Simon’s helped her learn to trust again. Awwwww!

Black Team! The oldest contestant in the house and they got off to a good start. Except Alex, who busted his ankle. And then the others followed suit with injuries of their own. And then Shane was the first sent home.
And then Simon sacrificed himself for love, falling on the Elimination Sword for Lisa.
Also, Graham didn’t lose enough weight and that made Commando Steve SAD and Commando Steve isn’t afraid of saying he’s disappointed. And Graham finally got annoyed at being a disappointment and snapped back and Steve just said, OH REALLY? WELL STOP BEING FAT AND MAKING EXCUSES, FATTY.

Only with better words.

Shane, Simon and Graham come out together. They’re behind the sliding doors and are saluting as the doors pull apart. They’re all wearing Commando Sunnies, too.

Shane’s first on the catwalk and he’s obviously still overweight but he’s looking healthier than he used to.

Simon’s looking pretty good. His suit’s actually a little big for him which is making him look a bit… odd.

Graham’s… weird. His torso is still huge and his head is still a blob… But his legs! They’re really quite skinny in comparison. It looks a bit weird.
I don’t know that he’s lost a lot of weight from his chest since leaving but his legs might make up for it.

Hayley says everyone is jealous of Graham because he got the most hugs from Commando. And they’re totally going to make Graham the mayor, right? Well, he’s leading some parade for them that is usually lead by someone in the government.
Hard to believe they even have a mayor, the town looked pretty small.

Shane was always banging on about his little man, his son Ethan. Shane wants to be a better role model for his son and he’s well on the way now.

Simon, you totally fell in loves with Lisa, right? Was that great? Yeah, it was pretty great having someone there for him when they were separated from their regular support network.

MORE RECAP FOOTAGE.

Including a gold quote from Commando during a training session, “It sounds like I’m in a maternity ward!”
And “You didn’t do that by eating salad, did you?”
And a shot of Steve casually reclining during the session Alex trained Graham for him. Heh.

Brenda hometime! Brenda’s bestie is the first one to get a hug but lots of other people are obviously very happy and proud of her and even more excited when she announces she’s in the Final Four!
Brenda wants to do herself and Shannan proud.

Time to meet THE TRAINERS!
Big surprise, they all look awesome. Tiff’s in another sparkly dress. Mish is in a simple white dress she’s nearly bubbling out the top of. I approve!
Shannan’s in a suit with no tie, Steve’s in a suit with tie, both look very dapper.

Tiff says her team and her sometimes fought like sisters but they came a long way and walked out confident women.

Shannan had an emotional year, didn’t he? Well, not so much Shannan, his boys. Lots and lots and lots of replayed footage of his boys crying and screaming and moaning and groaning and bitching and sooking and generally being wusses.
As we get back to the studio Ryan is laughing his arse off, quite a bit more than the other boys seem to. Which is strange since he comes off the worst in the footage.
Shannan’s proud of them all, James is looking fantastic, Luke has fought off the demon drink and Ryan and Hamish have both lost lots of weight.

Mish had a great team this year, right? Very strong and eager to train hard and two of them are in the final, Mish says, which speaks volumes.
Yeah, Brenda was only there a few weeks and then did a lot of it on the outside and then with Shannan. Ha!

Commando Steve, there was a lot more hugging this year, wasn’t there? Hayley was waiting for him to break out a teddy bear to hug. Steve says he’s about hugged out now, he doesn’t even have any hugs for his own kids. TINY BABY COMMANDOES? AWWWWWWW!
And people don’t ask Steve for an autograph anymore, they ask for a hug he says, to much laughter. Mish pats him on the shoulder and says it’s ooookay.

Now it’s time for James and Michelle to do their duet. James is on the piano, Michelle’s singing. I don’t recognise the song, I’m sure someone else will though.
Michelle’s sounding a little flat, if I’m honest. But hey, it’s not a singing competition. And it’s still not as awful as when they had Amanda sing…

Margie arrives home! She’s missed everyone so much, though she hadn’t expected to. Everyone’s amazed by how good she looks and how happy she looks.
There seems to be a lot of lesbians there. I approve!

Time for the Eliminated Contestants weigh in. Whoever’s lost the most can win $20,000, apparently. Except Luke or James. Blue Team are weighing in first as a result.

James Day One: 136.3kg
James Now: 93.2kg
James Loss: 43.1kg
James Percentage: 31.62%

Won’t be enough to win, even if he was eligible, but he’s done amazingly well for leaving so early!

Luke Day One: 145.2kg
Luke Now: 111.1kg
Luke Loss: 34.1kg
Luke Percentage: 23.48%

Also ineligible but would have been beaten by James anyway. Not an impressive result.

Now for the actual competition. Ryan’s up first!

Ryan Day One: 241kg
Ryan Now: 186.2kg
Ryan Loss: 54.8kg
Ryan Percentage: 22.74%

Didn’t even beat Luke!
But he’s in the lead for now…

Hamish Day One: 148.7kg
Hamish Now: 100kg
Hamish Loss: 48.7kg
Hamish Percentage: 32.75%

In the lead, even if James had been in the running.
And the poor guy didn’t get under 100kg for Finale! How embarassment.

Black Team next. Simon needs 53.9kg to topple Hamish. He’s hopeful and thinks it’ll be close…

Simon Day One: 164.3kg
Simon Now: 110.3kg
Simon Loss: 54kg
Simon Percentage: 32.87%

Just pipped Hamish! Taken the lead by 100g.

Shane next! He’ll need at least 54.2kg. Doubtful!

Shane Day One: 164.8kg
Shane Now: 129.5kg
Shane Loss: 35.3kg
Shane Percentage: 21.42%

Wow, worst result so far. Even Ryan beat him!

Graham needs at least 68.9kg to take the lead. Yikes! He’s worked fairly hard back in Carcoar. Only fairly hard, Hayley asks?

Graham Day One: 209.3kg
Graham Now: 135.9kg
Graham Loss: 73.4kg
Graham Percentage: 35.07%

Wow, go Graham! He’s outdone Simon!

White Team next.
Selena needs at least 57.4kg to take the lead. HAHAHAHAHA. Why even bother telling her, Hayley? She hasn’t done that.
Even Selena knows it’s ridiculous. She says she’s done a good job but that’s a lot of weight.

Selena Day One: 163.5kg
Selena Now: 125.1kg
Selena Loss: 38.4kg
Selena Percentage: 23.49%

Wow, she actually beat some people!

Michelle needs at least 38.8kg. She worked really hard on the outside but she’s still nervous!

Michelle Day One: 110.4kg
Michelle Now: 67.4kg
Michelle Loss: 43kg
Michelle Percentage: 38.95%

Edging closer to the magic half the body weight!
Michelle is stoked to have reached her goal of being under 70kg, even more excited about that than taking the lead.

Bek needs at least 49.3kg.

Bek Day One: 126.3kg
Bek Now: 79kg
Bek Loss: 47.3kg
Bek Percentage: 37.45%

Not enough to topple Michelle but enough to get under 80kg, which was a big goal of hers.

Michelle would like to hold onto the lead but at the end of the day, she’s already won, she says.

Red Team’s turn. That’s just Lisa and Lydia.

Lisa will need at least 40.6kg. Does she think she’s done it? Absolutely! She says with a dubious laugh.

Lisa Day One: 104.2kg
Lisa Now: 69.9kg
Lisa Loss: 34.3kg
Lisa Percentage: 32.92%

Not enough to take the lead but she’s under 70kg which was one of HER big goals. Hooray!

Lydia. Lydia might just take it out. She’s looking so bloody fit now.
She’ll need to have lost at least 55.3kg. She’s worked very hard and is extremely proud but she’s not looking super confident…

Lydia Day One: 141.9kg
Lydia Now: 78.8kg
Lydia Loss: 63.1kg
Lydia Percentage: 44.47%

Lydia’s super excited and Lisa’s on her feet applauding and Lydia jumps off the platform and gets a big happy hug from Michelle.

Lydia takes out the Eliminated Contestant prize of $20,000!

Hayley says she was one of the toughest contestants they’ve ever had, is the win well deserved? The money will mean so much to her, she says, but 63kg down and only a few more to go, so she’d already won too.
Lydia’s really close to her Mum and Dad and she’s lucky to have parents like them. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
They come up out of the audience to get big hugs too. Hurrah!

Some pretty good results in there but congratulations to Lydia! I reckon with a loss like that she’ll rival some of the Final Four’s losses.

Recap of Margie’s journey. Must be time for the Margie reveal then?
Mmmm, pizza shop.

Mish says Margie’s a funny lady, she’d be cracking Mish up all the time. But she’s also an ex-athlete and loves to win. She was a weapon of a woman. Margie says the woman she used to be was starting to come back. Lydia remembers Margie going harder than anyone else at the challenges.

Margie says, “I’ve been reborn.”

And here’s Margie! Looking quite the dapper dyke in a suit with an undone pink bowtie hanging around her neck and patent leather shoes. She’s still a pretty solid unit but that’s more how she’s built than being overweight.

Hayley’s first words to Margie are to ask her if she’s allowed to say Margie’s looking pretty? NO. Bwahaha!
Hayley then says they might have Australia’s answer to Ellen Degeneres. Much applause from the crowd.
So other than losing a bunch of weight and getting Mish’s phone number, what else did she get out of the journey? A lot, Margie says. She could list things for ages but the main thing was she came into Camp a very angry woman, who could be happy when they were like that? Now she’s left and is a lot happier in herself.

Brenda! Montage!
Including the bit where they dumped the truckload of fat in front of her and she almost threw up.
Mish recalls the hard time she had breaking through to the real Brenda, she never really cracked the surface. And then Brenda got sent home…

… and then came back to be trained by Shannan, returned to the house with a vengeance and survived straight through to the Final Three which ultimately became a Final Four.

Shannan says the standout moment for Brenda was in the Swiss Alps when Brenda had her breakthrough moment before the ice pool dunk. She’s fit, forty and fabulous now!

Big welcome for Brenda! Who’s looking very classy indeed in a satin navy blue knee length dress with shiny silver heels on her feets.
She looks great!

It was a very emotional journey for Brenda. She felt sorry for herself a lot and was in tears a lot and then she got sent home.
It took a few weeks for her on the outside to get over being eliminated but then with her support network and her trainer Penny she got stuck into it and did the hard work to fight her way back in.
And when she got into Shannan’s Boot Camp she had a point to prove – she could do this.

And is it nice to be alongside Margie? Margie says Brenda loves her, why wouldn’t she when she’s looking like this. Hayley pats her on the shoulder and says yes, everyone loves you Margie.

Kasey! Montage!
Confidence was something she really lacked at the start and was crippled by shyness.
Margie says when Kasey came to the competition Margie didn’t even know she existed. Lydia says much the same but as the competition went on a strong, funny and positive lady came out of the shell Kasey had been hiding in.

Kasey’s the silent assassin, Tiff says. You won’t see her coming and then she’ll take you out.
And she’s becoming a lot more vocal these days and a lot more confident.

Oooh and they just made a connection. Remember back at the Speed Dating Temptation Challenge? Kasey got along well with one guy and she jokingly suggested they go for a dance later, which of course they couldn’t on that day.
Then he came back for the Single and ready to Mingle cocktail party and they did indeed dance together! Awww, that’s really sweet!

Lots of the other contestants have very kind words about Kasey as well, they fancy her chances at this.

And seeing her wobble unsteadily on her heels out on the catwalk… You know, she might be in with a chance. She’s looking skinnier! She’s in a black silky dress but it billows out a bit from the waist so it’s hard to tell, maybe she’s still packing a lot of weight on her butt. Still think Margie or Alex would be the favourite…

Kasey says she’d always been shy and she wanted to find some confidence, and now she has. And this is the first final she’s even been in, in anything, ever!
Kasey’s more confident around boys now? The boys were flocking around her at the cocktail party, weren’t they? Yes, it was nice, she says. And it shows how far she’d come, she says, that guys actually wanted to hang around her now.

And now, the last man standing, Alex.
MONTAGE!

Steve says his first impression of Alex was a decrepit old man who mightn’t even last two weeks at Camp.
But Alex was determined to never give up.

“If you can’t fly, then run. If you can’t run, then walk. If you can’t walk, then crawl.” The letter from his sister again.

Nothing could stop Alex, Steve says. Not a busted achilles, not a respiratory infection, not a broken rib. He’s like a cat with nine lives, Steve says.

And he needs a licence. A licence to date, says Margie!

“Age is no barrier, it’s all a head thing. You’ve just got to keep fighting.” – Alex!

Then the doors slide back and… wow, that’s quite a difference. I think he’s probably got one of those man girdles on as he’s moving a little stiffly but he’s markedly smaller than he used to be.
He’s also sporting a really nice looking bear, suits him more than the goatee he used to have. It’s white, because he’s old, but it somehow makes him look a bit younger.

How’d Alex do it, with all his injuries? He pushed through it all, even Margie giving him a headache all day!
He’s injury free at the moment though. At least until he walks out the door, Hayley asks? Well, yes, he might fall off the stage or something yet!

Family’s very important to him, so is love. And love was all he talked about at Camp and getting out and finding love and going out with Commando on Harleys and picking up chicks. No, that was all Commando Steve, Alex says!
Alex says that with Commando with him he might at least have a chance!

Ladies and Gentlemen, your Final Four! Woooooo!

Get to the weighing in!

Hayley says training the contestants is a labour of love for the four trainers, but nobody knows the contestants better.

Inside goss on Kasey, Tiff? Most shy ninja ever! But she unleashed her inner warrior and with that confidence she can do anything.

Brenda, Shannan? She was a closed book until the last couple of weeks but then she opened up and he really loved what he saw of her.

Mish and Margie had fights, loved each other, fights, loved each other, fights… Margie’s going to be tough to beat, Mish says. Margie’s put the hard yards in and Mish is very proud of her.

Commando Steve says Alex was a decrepit old man, but he defied the odds and got into the Final Four because of his mental toughness.

It’s time! Final weigh in time!

Who will be Australia’s Biggest Loser for 2012?

Out they come in their black weigh in gear and year, Kasey’s still carrying quite a bit of weight around her hips, so she’s probably out of the running.

The winner at this weigh in will go home $220,000 heavier!
No mention of prizes for the other three? Hrm.

Anyway, Kasey’s up first!

Kasey Day One: 132.8kg
Kasey Now: 78.8kg
Kasey Loss: 54kg
Kasey Percentage: 40.66%

Wow! That’s a huge loss. Almost as much as Lydia.
Getting under 80kg was a big goal for Kasey and now she’s only 3kg away from her goal, so she’s happy!

Brenda needs at least 49.2kg to beat Kasey. She’s not sure, not sure at all.

Brenda Day One: 120.8kg
Brenda Now: 76.5kg
Brenda Loss: 44.3kg
Brenda Percentage: 36.67%

Nice job, Brenda!
Her goal was also to get under 80kg. Not enough to topple Kasey but she’s done well.

Alex is feeling confident. Margie says she feels like having a cheese sandwich. That’s how she deals with pressure, Hayley asks? No, she exercises, Margie says with a guilty look at Mish.

Alex Day One: 161.6kg
Alex Now: 89.4kg
Alex Loss: 72.2kg
Alex Percentage: 44.68%

WHOA! Great job, Alex. Takes the lead from Kasey quite comfortably and Margie’s going to have a hard time matching that, methinks.

Margie’s last of all. And she’s pooing her pants and would rather jump from the cliff again.
To win she’ll need at least 71.2kg.
Margie says she’s done everything she possibly can so whatever happens, happens. But she hopes she does win for Mish.

Margie Day One: 159.1kg
Margie Now: 85.9kg
Margie Loss: 73.2kg
Margie Percentage: 46.01%

MARGIE WINS! Margie is the Biggest Loser Australia 2012.
She lets out a roar and then rushes off the scales and straight to Mish to lift her up in a huge bear hug, which snaps one of the straps on Mish’s dress. Ooops!

Then it’s a huge crush of pretty much all her friends and family running onto the stage and giving lots and lots of hugs.
Then Margie runs around hugging Alex and the other contestants and so on.

Awwww! So excited!

LET THE GLITTER FALL!

And so that’s it for another year. Big congratulations to Margie for her win and a truly incredible result on the scales.

And congratulations to all the other contestants for making a start on changing their lives for the better. I hope you all continue on with your journeys and find even greater success.

And last but by no means least, thanks to everyone for reading my little blog for another year. It’s been a lot of fun sharing the contestants ups and downs with you all and I hope to see you all again next year!

– Mythor