Previously, on The Biggest Loser Australia… EVERYTHING HAPPENED.

Tonight, on The Biggest Loser Australia… EVERYTHING IS WRAPPED UP.

And boy howdy, it’s going to be AWESOME.
Trust me. I don’t lie to you like that pesky Mr Voiceover Man!

But one thing you should know about Finale episodes – in terms of new content, they’re the skinniest eps of all. It’s recaps on recaps on recaps, for the most part.
But it’s great anyway because there’s always some epic transformations revealed.

So anyway. Recapping the season with Mr Voiceover Man. If you’ve not been watching why are you bothering with the Finale? Or did you think Good News Week was going to be on?

Before everything gets underway, Ajay talks up the Double or Nothing bracelets. Even though nobody really cares, we just want to see who lost what!

But first, Ajay has to introduce… The Biggest Loser scales! Cue crowd clapping and cheering for an inanimate object.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd we’re back in recap-land, again!

Finally we go back to the Finale studio for the reveal of Tania and Ramses!
Sorry. Can’t recap right now. Too busy laughing my damn arse off. Tania does the whole disdain motion to her fat hologram… Who’d probably look about the same as the new “thin” her. If she’s lost more than 20kg I’ll eat my hat!
Ramses looks to have lost more but I suspect he’s still very much in the morbidly obese category.

Jeda and Jodi are next… Is Jeda pregnant? She seems to have a pregnant belly hiding under her dress. Not sure if it’s just a bad dress though. She’s otherwise looking pretty good. Still chubby but much improved over when she came into the house.
Jodi is actually looking a fair bit thinner than her bestie Jeda. May be the much nicer red dress she’s wearing though.
Ajay tells them they look like yummy mummies!

And now we finally get to see Sammy going home after leaving the House as one of the Final Four.
Everyone looks totally shocked when she comes up the stairs. Her sister is in tears and tells us she’s thrilled with Sam’s result.
Sam’s man Matt says he can’t wait for them to start their life. Awwww!

Ajay now tells us about her weightloss past. Nine years ago she weighed 130kg. Since then she’s lost more than half of that weight and this year she set out to finish the job she’d started.
And every kilo she lost raised money for Diabetes Australia. In the last 4 months she’s lost 11.5kg which has raised $20,000.
Good job Ajay!

Oh, I haven’t commented on her dress! It’s only got one shoulder strap. And she has a bit of a booby muffin top. What’s the word for that? It can’t still be muffin top. Anyway. Her breasts runneth over or something. But she’s looking very good, if a little too tanned!

Now it’s time for the reveal of the new Holly and Mel!

…

*cough* Um. Holly looks fucking fabulous. Mel’s got a really nice body on her now but she has big frizzy scary hair that scares me.
Holly’s wearing a cute little blue dress while Mel’s in a fancy pink dress. They’re both hamming it up a lot, acting all hot and sizzling and stuff, loving the crowds cheering.
Holly and Mel are giggling as they talk to Ajay. Jodi’s looking a little sour in the background…

Wait, Jodi always looks sour.

Oh gawd, they’re letting Emazon on stage? What the fuck for, she was in three episodes. Tania and Ramses were in more episodes!
She’s in some monstrosity of a dress. And fortunately doesn’t talk to Ajay for long.

Amanda and Stewart are up next.
Stewart looks like a scarecrow. Almost like he used to be way shorter and they stretched him! He’s looking very much improved over his fat hologram.
Amanda… is improved. But still immensely overweight.
Apparently her dream of being an opera singer is much closer now. And Ajay says they’re not finished with her yet. Please don’t sing, please don’t sing!

Teresa’s turn on the catwalk now. She’s in some weird silvery dress thing and while she looks much better than when she started, she seems not to have made any progress since returning for the eliminees challenges.

And now Andrew and Nathan.
Both of them look super buff now. Seriously, if you saw them in the street you’d think they’re just big muscly guys who have always been muscly.
Andrew hams it up at the end of the runway, getting the crowd to cheer more.
Nathan walks down the runway and claps to the crowd before shaking his brother’s hand… then his kiddies run up on stage for hugs. Awww!
Ajay gives a wolfwhistle as they wander up.
Ajay says to Andrew that he wasn’t expecting to live to 30, how’s his future look now? He says it’s so bright he has to wear sunglasses.
Nathan needs some congratulations, too. He’s married his girl, yay!

And we can see a small picture, apparently from New Idea? And he looks great!

Now it’s time for Commando Steve. Ajay says he does 100 situps a day and that’s just before getting out of bed!
Steve wanders out with his sunnies on and gees the crowd up some. Then walks over to Ajay. Who he towers over. Then he takes his sunnies off and the crowd gives a “wooo” and Steve grins at them.
See, this is why they only need Commando Steve and don’t need Emazon. Steve KNOWS he’s hamming it up and he has fun with it. Emazon seems to really believe her own hype.
The Commando says Nathan and Bob are two of the toughest competitors he’s ever trained. High praise indeed!

Oooh, second chance couples time. They were battling to win $10,000 courtesy of the Biggest Loser Meal Replacement Program.
With a combined weightloss of 78.5kg the friends Ben and Katie have won, apparently. Katie’s still looking curvy, but not unpleasantly so. Ben looks good. It’s a little hard to tell more because they don’t let them down out of the audience, which is a shame. Give them their 15 seconds of fame!

Sharif then gets his home arrival thingy. Teresa’s in the gathering of people waiting for him to come home. Awww!
Fleur his wife says that she thought he was hot before but now he’s DAMN hot. She’s great!
Sharif says his Dad was speechless and his Mum was just happy to see him happy.
Fleur says he’s lost more than she weighs, which is crazy!

Now Ben and Sean are back… Sean already looked great when he got eliminated but Ben looks outstanding. Not fat at all anymore, he looks like a completely different dude.
Sean of course looks much as he did during the White Shirt weigh-in. That’s not disappointing at all since he was already at a nice healthy weight for someone his height and level of fitness.
Ajay asks them if they still get ribbed on the baseball field and Ben says they don’t call him Two B’s anymore, they call him half a B and Sean says he thinks the other guys are jealous and that’s why they’ve said nothing to him!

Now it’s time for Meaghan and Julie. You may have to give me a minute here!
Julie’s looking great for her age.
Meaghan looks STUNNING. She’s in a shiny sparkly glittery dress thing and is quite slim! Perfect size for a girl her age.
Both Mum and Daughter look very happy, too.
Ajay says Meaghan looks drop dead gorgeous. Then she asks how much extra attention she’s been receiving since getting home and Meaghan says she’s been getting a bit of attention, yeah.
Julie says people have got to get out and do something about your weight, even if you are an older lady. The feeling is unbeatable!

Now it’s Cameron’s turn!
And wow, Cam’s made a big turnaround. Still walks like a lame duck but now he just looks like a solid but healthy lad. Huge improvement.
Cam says his wife is impressed with the new, happier, Cam!

Now Shannan and Michelle get to come out of the spiffy doors. And yikes, Michelle looks so skinny when she’s dolled up. She looks so much healthier in her workout gear, bit weird.
Shannan looks like Shannan always does.

Michelle says she’s been blown away by how good they look now.
Shannan says their transformations are incredible. What the trainers put them through would break most people, physically and mentally and those guys stuck it out for over 3 months.
Yeah, except for people like Tania and Ramses, doofus!

But first, it’s always been Amanda’s dream to deafen a live audience with her singing.
She’s singing Nessun Dorma again. And yeah, she still isn’t much chop. There’s a bit near the end of her singing where she’s trying to hit a note and sort of flutters around it and then can’t hold it for anywhere near as long as you’re supposed to hold that note.
And Stewart’s mouthing the words along in the peanut gallery. Maybe they should’ve got him to sing instead!

The winner of the eliminated contestants weigh-in will take home $30,000 in prizemoney.
Fingers crossed nobody crap wins it!

First to weigh-in will be Tania!
Start: 135.7kg
Current: 117.2kg
Loss: 18.5kg
Percent: 13.63%

She doesn’t look too impressed, and nor should she as that is a pathetic result for 6 months work. Around 3kg a month means not even a kilo a week. She likely could have lost more if she simply ate healthy foods but didn’t do any exercise.
Anyway. I’ll stop being a hater now.

Ramses!
Start: 137.9kg
Current: 109.4kg
Loss: 28.5kg
Percentage: 20.67%

Thrashed his wife. Even allowing for the advantage of him being a man, it still shows how poorly Tania’s done.

Jeda!
Start: 106.3kg
Current: 85kg
Loss: 21.3kg
Percentage: 20.04%

Not quite enough to topple Ramses, which is a shame.

Jodi!
Start: 121.5kg
Current: 87.5kg
Loss: 34kg
Percentage: 27.98%

She looks quite pleased with herself. I’d say it’s unjustified since she only beat Ramses… but she did beat him by quite a margin!

Mel!
Start: 102kg
Current: 80.3kg
Loss: 21.7kg
Percentage: 21.27%

She says something about it being the same. And “I know, I look good!” I guess she’s the same weight as when she returned to the house for the eliminated contestants stuff? Not sure, would have to go check!

Holly needs to have lost at least 30.3kg to go past Jodi. “No way!” Holly says it with a laugh so she’s obviously not concerned!
Start: 108.2kg
Current: 82.3kg
Loss: 25.9kg
Percentage: 23.94%

She seems quite happy with that. Not enough to beat Jodi but she’s looking good and obviously fit and healthy so good for her!

Bob and Tiff arrive home after that bit of the weigh in. To a see of people with Blue flags and shirts with “Bob & Tiff Biggest Loser 2009″ on them. Spiff!

Andrew gets to weigh-in next. He needs 40.4kg to go past Jodi.
Start: 144.2kg
Current: 99.5kg
Loss: 44.7kg
Percentage: 31%

He’s stoked, as are his family and his brother Nathan.
As am I as he’s just knocked Jodi off the winner podium!

Nathan! He’ll need to have lost 45.1kg to knock Andrew off.
Start: 145.2kg
Current: 98.3kg
Loss: 46.9kg
Percentage: 32.3%

Beat Andrew and gives a huge roar of victory once more. Nathan says it’s not good to beat his little brother but it’s going to be good standing on the podium!

Meaghan! She needs 35.5kg to go past Nathan.
Start: 109.6kg
Current: 73.2kg
Loss: 36.4kg
Percentage: 33.21%

She gives a big yell and then a more girly squeal of victory! Yay Meaghan!
Yes, Meaghan just beat Nathan. Meaghan says sorry to Nathan as she takes his spot but Nathan says not to apologise because she’s done well!

Julie needs 41kg to beat Meaghan and take the #1 spot.
Start: 123.4kg
Current: 79.8kg
Loss: 43.6kg
Percentage: 35.33%

Dude! She beat Meaghan! She seems as shocked as everyone else, too.

Teresa will need to have lost 40.7kg to knock Julie off.
Start: 115kg
Current: 76kg
Loss: 39kg
Percentage: 33.91%

Teresa’s really happy with her loss, as well she should be. It’s not enough to topple Julie, but she’s happy nonetheless.

Cameron’s turn now. He needs to lose 58kg. “Awwwwwwww!” I think Cam’s faking it a bit, I think he might know he’s got it!
Start: 164.1kg
Current: 107.5kg
Loss: 56.6kg
Percentage: 34.49%

Missed it by THAT MUCH. “I’m always one step behind Julie!” He doesn’t seem to mind at all, he’s obviously just stoked he’s lost so much weight. Good for him, too!

Last four people are Amanda and Stewart, Ben and Sean.

Stewart’s first. He needs 48.2kg to beat Julie. Really hope he doesn’t, Julie deserves it way more!
Start: 136.4kg
Current: 88kg
Loss: 48.4kg
Percentage: 35.48%

Bah humbug! He seems quite pleased.

Amanda will need 60.5kg to beat Stewart.
Start: 170.4kg
Current: 113.6kg
Loss: 56.8kg
Percentage: 33.33%

She seems quite pleased. She’s lost exactly 1/3rd of her body weight which is not bad at all, given where she started!

Just Ben and Sean remain. Stewart says they’re the alpha males. Nathan and Andrew laugh, Nathan tips his hat to the boys too.

Ben’s first up. He needs at least 54.4kg.
Start: 153.1kg
Current: 98.2kg
Loss: 54.9kg
Percentage: 35.86%

Ben is ecstatic. I assume it’s because he’s under 100kg and not because he knocked Stewart off. He tells Ajay the last time he was under 100kg was when he was 16. Jeepers!

Sean’s last of all. He’ll need to lose at least 47.6kg.
Start: 132.5kg
Current: 84.8kg
Loss: 47.7kg
Percentage: 36%

Are you kidding me?! He won by 100 grams?! Wow!
And I’m glad he won, one of the more deserving people won some money for once!
Now he can go back home and help his wife lose weight because DAMN.

Now Ajay has to talk up the Double or Nothing bracelets again. Tiffany’s got the Double bracelet and will win $400,000 if she wins. Sharif has the Nothing bracelet and if he wins, he’ll get no prizemoney at all.

First reveal is going to be… Sharif!
“My name is Sharif, I’m 32. And I want to know what it’s like to be healthy.”
Michelle says Sharif understood he had to do this for himself and in training he’d just get right down to it. And the more confidence he got, the harder he worked out, Shannan says.
Andrew says the weight was just falling off him and Meaghan says he was one of the biggest threats and so he had to go!
Shannan says he may have been sent home early but no way was he going to be left out of the game.
Meaghan says the Nothing bracelet doesn’t matter to Sharif, he’ll still be trying as hard as he can.

Then Sharif comes out from behind the big screens and… wow. He’s looking very trim and terrific. I suspect there’s probably a girdle at play to hold back the loose skin but that’s really not his fault. Hopefully he can afford the surgery later.
Sharif says he’s no longer a burden on Fleur, at all. Fleur’s Dad seems to be sitting next to her and he seems very happy at Sharif’s transformation.
Sharif tells Ajay he likes what he sees in the mirror now, though he could never have pictured getting there before.

Sammy’s turn now. Ajay says the whole of Australia has taken Sammy under its wing.
“I’m Sammy, I’m 20 years old. I can’t even look in the mirror.”
She dreams of feeling comfortable and feeling beautiful. She may not ever look beautiful but she wants to feel it.
Michelle says Sammy had always had a negative view of her image but suddenly she saw how beautiful she really is.
Michelle also thinks people underestimated what Sammy is capable of. Sharif says she got stronger and stronger, Tiff says she’s lost weight consistently. Andrew pegs her as the dark horse for the Final Four and the others ought to watch out!

The big screens open to reveal… hey, Sammy’s actually pretty hot now!
She’s still chubby but it’s not even close to where she started out. She’s in a strapless blue dress and fills it out nicely.
Ajay says she looks beautiful, does she feel it? And Sammy says yes.
Ajay then asks if Sammy has some special news to share? And Sammy says, “Ahhh, this lil sumpin sumpin?” Pointing at the very impressive looking ring on her finger. Very shiny!
Yes, her boyfriend Matt proposed. Apparently he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Awwww!

Bob and Tiff are the only couple to make it to the Final Four.
Tiff’s up first though.
Julie says Tiff is probably one of the most determined people she’s ever met, but also very unassuming at the same time.
Michelle says that the one thing she’ll remember about training with Tiffany is “that face!” Sam says when her angry face comes on? Game on!

The big screens open up to… Sweet Jebus! Tiff’s rocking a great body tonight! In a pretty purple dress, which only makes things better!
“WOWWWW!” is Ajay’s first word.
Apparently Isabelle, Tiff’s daughter, looks up to her now. She wants to be fit and healthy like her Mum!
Tiff goes to sit down with Sammy and Sharif… but Isabelle comes running up onto the stage and cuddles her before Tiff’s husband comes and rescues her.

Bob’s going to come out last of all.
Shannan recalls Bob collapsing in the first training session on Fitzroy Island. Shannan said to him he can either stay there now, or he can get up… and Bob said, “This time, I’m going to get up.”
Everyone recalls how Bob just never stopped moving and kept losing more and more weight than everyone else.
Even Commando Steve is complimentary, saying he’s got the strength, he pushes hard and is mentally tough.

The screens open for Bob and… Wow. He’s looking great as well. You can tell there’s a bit of girdle action going on under his shirt but his arms and legs are thin so I suspect the girdle is mostly holding skin, as Sharif’s would have been.
Bob says there was a moment on Fitzroy Island when he thought he was dead. But he decided to get up and never give up again. He said to himself that he can’t try anymore, he’s got to do it. And he’s held onto that – there is no try, only do!
Duuuude, he’s the Yoda of Biggest Loser!

And now after an ad break the Final Four are back in Black!
And that only makes Tiffany look even thinner, wow!
Bob’s got a bit of loose skin around his arms though.

Prizes:
1st: $200,000
2nd: $30,000
3rd: $20,000
4th: $10,000

Bit dodgy. They all ought to get more than the eliminated people.

Shannan says he thinks this turn out is the best ever. Their transformations have been phenomenal.
Michelle says she thinks the girls have gone very hard, both on the show and at home, so it could indeed be the year for the first female Biggest Loser.

Sammy gets the dubious privilege of weighing in first.
Start: 118.6kg
Current: 72.5kg
Loss: 46.1kg
Percentage: 38.87%

Very impressive Sammy! She seems stoked, as do her family.
Sammy says it’s changed everything in her life. Her friends and family and her man gave her the most beautiful life in the world and now she feels beautiful in it.
Sammy now gets to stand on the leaders block. Probably won’t be for long though.
But impressively, Sammy beat all the eliminated contestants. Which shows why they should be getting more money!

Sharif’s turn now. He says it was serendipitous that he received the Nothing bracelet since the money meant the least to him of everyone anyway. He needs to have lost 69.4kg to beat Sammy.
Start: 178.3kg
Current: 105.8kg
Loss: 72.5kg
Percentage: 40.66%

Very, very impressive! Sammy gives a big cheer for him too. Though on the way up she was saying to him, “My box! My box!” Guess she’s never heard of double entendres.
Sharif says to Ajay that this has been the start of his life. He’s been overweight his whole life. Now he’s got some uncertainty in his life, not so much about what happens next just about having so many more options now.

Bob’s turn. 68.3kg is all Bob needs to surpass Sharif. Suspect he’s more than got that in the bag.
Start: 167.8kg
Current: 80.2kg
Loss: 87.6kg
Percentage: 52.21%

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEE?! That’s more than half his bodyweight! More than half!
Before he weighed in the crowd was chanting “Bob! Bob! Bob!” With Sharif urging them to cheer louder. When Sharif sees Bob’s result he’s cheering as well.
Bob says he’s not sure which half of him is there but on behalf of the half that is, it feels great!

Tiffany’s last of all. Can she topple Bob? It’s going to be an uphill battle, that’s for sure.
But she’ll need to lose 59.4kg. That could be tough.
Start: 113.6kg
Current: 59.5kg
Loss: 54.1kg
Percentage: 47.62%

50s club?! Are you serious?! That’s incredible.
And yet still not enough to win! Bob is the winner for 2009!
And it seems pretty much everyone is happy it’s Bob! Very deserving winner.

Bob can’t believe it and he and Tiff have taken out the number one and two spots.
Bob says they never set out to beat anyone, just conquer themselves.

Ajay announces that Bob has smashed more Biggest Loser records. He’s lost more by pure kilograms and more by percentage than any previous contestant. So that’s more records Bob holds!

Then the glitter cannons go off. Sending a couple of pieces down into Holly’s cleavage where she fishes them out right behind Ajay as she talks about… NEXT SEASON!

Yes, that’s right kids, Ajay says there’ll be another Biggest Loser season next year and it sounds like it’ll be Couples again, too.
Hey, Tania and Ramses should apply again!

And that’s all she wrote, folks. Ajay says good night to us all and we fade out to even more advertisements for things we don’t want to buy.

Hope you all enjoyed the show this year. Stay tuned this week as I may find some time to write about this or that but until then… squeal about how awesome Bob is in the comments or something. :-)

Tweet this, Like this, Google+ this...

•